Polyamory for Dummies
by CrossedQuills
Summary: Co-created with Daiako (Achrya) on AO3. Rated for later chapters. Noctis notices his boyfriend, Prompto has the hots for his body guard. He hatches a scheme to hook the two of them up, which gives him the opportunity to seek out a second boyfriend of his own. OT4. Noctis/Prompto, Gladio/Prompto, Noctis/Ignis, maybe more. I haven't decided.
1. Chapter 1

Noctis stared at his boyfriend silently, letting Prompto's excited praise of Gladio's form and technique and *stamina* ("He never gets tired! I can run, you know, but I thought I was going to die, I bet he does marathons for fun!") when finally his head caught up with the curious feeling in his stomach.

He grinned. "You have a thing for Gladio!"

Prompto stopped. Blinked. Went pink up to the tips of his ears and started shaking his head so violently Noctis was a little concerned about whiplash. "W-what? Noct that's…I don't- you know I'm only interested in you, why would you-"

Noctis waved a hand dismissively. "Yeah yeah, you're in love with me and think my ass is amazing, I know that. " Prompto sputtered indignantly. "But you like Gladio too. You're always going on and on about him. And you almost came in your pants when he asked you to that art show-"

"I did not!"

"And you basically feel up all those bruises he gives you." Noctis added, letting the past few months spin out in his mind through a new lense. "That. Is so cute."

"Noctis it's not like…wait. what?"

"You should ask him out. Small and twinky is totally his thing. And artistic; he dated this painter-"

"What?"

"I know you say tour pictures aren't an art thing and that you aren't good but you're an idiot. But not really, which is good since Gladio likes to talk about books and war history and other boring shit, but you like a lot of boring stuff too. You both like to run and hike, because you're insane-"

"Are you breaking up with me?"

Noctis paused, blinking in confusion. Prompto had rolled off the bed at some point and looked about two seconds away from tearing out his hair or screaming at him. He tilted to his head to the side, eyebrows jumping up.

"No."

"No."

"No. It would make having sex later weird if I did." Prompto let out a slightly alarming gurgling sound. Noctis blinked again. "What's wrong with you?"

Ignis set down the knife, wiped off his hands, and took off his apron with an exaggerated slowness that Prompto couldn't help but think was meant to give them an opportunity to run away and forget this conversation had ever been attempted. But of course, Noctis didn't pick up on any of that. Probably too busy imagining Ignis' fingers in his mouth and, damnit, Noct's stupid dirty thoughts were all he could think about now. Ugh.

"I think I misheard you, Highness." Prompto sucked in a startled breath. Highness was, in Ignis speak, on par with a teacher busting out their full names. "You want me to what?"

"Go out with us." Noctis repeated, unfazed as only he could be. Ignis' left eye twitched.

"Noctis that is highly-"

"Or just me, technically, but with us, and Gladio, to the waterpark and movies next weekend. Probably dinner too."

Ignis' mouth flattened into a straight line but Prompto was sure he saw relief flicker I'm his eyes. "I'm afraid I don't understand. You needn't ask Gladio and I to accompany you to the waterpark, that's our-"

"Not to guard me." Noctis frowned. "For fun. A day off."

"I'm not sure I know what that is." Ignis' voice was so dry only cacti could have grown in his presence. "It's been so long…fifteen years I believe. You are eighteen now, aren't you?"

"And we all know you've never known what fun is."

They stared at each other, near identical blank expressions on their face. Prompto sank lower in his seat, suddenly sure it was less Noctis' age and more the way they treated each other that had kept his boyfriend from getting anywhere with his advisor. Then, impossibly, Ignis snorted lightly and rolled his eyes; Noctis grinned. Prompto's mouth dropped open.

What the fuck?

"I think I can clear my weekend for this fabled 'fun'." Ignis reached for the knife. "Is there anything else?"

"Help me help Prompto get into Gladio's pants."

The knife hit the counter top with a dull clang. Prompto's head met it with a thump but not before he saw Ignis' expression twist into one of disbelief.

"Excuse me?"

Noctis touched the back of Prompto's hand, pads of his thumb brushing over his skin lightly. "Well not into his pants, not right away. Prompto isn't that kind of guy; it took me months to get a hand-"

"Noct!"

"Noctis!"

Prompto peaked up at Ignis in the silence following their shouts. They exchanged sympathetic looks before turning their attention to a frowning Noctis.

"Don't do that. Its weird."

Ignis sighed deeply. "I thought you and Prompto were involved."

"We are." Noctis said breezily. "And he liked Gladio and I think Gladio likes him. Why else would he give up his weekends to hang out with him?"

Ignis took his glasses off and began to wipe at them with the corner of his towel. "I'm certain I don't know what goes on in Gladio's head-"

"You're basically his best friend."

"Don't be insulting." Came the very tart reply. "Nonetheless I doubt he would do anything to come between you and Prompto, regardless of how he may or may not feel."

"But if it wasn't going to come between us?" Noct prompted, leaning closer to Ignis. "Lets say Prompto and I talked like grown ups-"

"Hah."

"And are fine with us dating other people, as long as we're. You know. Honest and upfront and whatever."

"And whatever." Ignis mimicked with far more snark then Prompto had thought possible if him. "You can't be serious." Noctis arched an eyebrow. Ignis' brow furrowed. "You're serious."

Noctis watched Prompto vanish through the front door of Gladio's apartment building then sat back in his seat, content in the knowledge that operation 'Help Prom tap Gladio's ass' was off to a great start. The weather was great. Prompto looked good, Noctis had actually had some serious thoughts about calling the whole thing off and spending the day in his bedroom. Ignis was lending his 'advanced Gladio knowledge', albeit reluctantly and while insisting he had no such knowledge. And Noctis had carefully planned a dozen reasons for him and Ignis to ditch the other two or get them to partner up in rides.

Yes, everything was perfect. He was some kind of dating mastermind. Under his watchful eye Prompto would finally see that Gladio had a thing for him. …and maybe he'd get somewhere with Ignis too. Not that his focus was on that, today was all about Prompto. Yep. All about-

"Are you sure you've considered the full implications of an open relationship?" Ignis asked, twisting around in his seat to look at him fully.

"You made me read a book called 'Polyamory for Dummies.' I think I've got this." Noctis quirked an eyebrow at the older man. "I love Prom. He likes Gladio. If dating Gladio would make him happy then I'm on board."

He didn't get why Ignis and Prompto kept trying to make this more complicated than it had to be. He wasn't dumb or anything, he got that it would take work and effort, that he'd have to share Prompto's time, that someone else would get to touch and be with his boyfriend. Maybe in some other situation, if it was someone else, it would piss him off but…it was Gladio. Gladio was one of the best people he knew and probably the only person who was good enough for Prompto.

Aside from Noctis.

"But what about you?"

"What about me? …do you think I should try to date Gladio too?" Noctis squinted thoughtfully. "I don't know. He is hot-"

"No! That is-" Ignis sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I honestly don't understand what goes on in your head half of the time."

Noctis let his eyes sweep over Ignis' face, lingering on full lips, a sculpted nose, and bright green eyes. "I know."

Ignis shot him a confused look then shook his head. "I want to ensure that you will also be happy Noctis. That is always my first priority."

Noctis smiled, familiar warmth and fluttering filling his stomach. How could someone so smart be so stupid? "It's fine. This is good. …and maybe I'll find a second boyfriend too. Maybe I've got my eye on someone."

Ignis' face dud something complicated, eyes lowering, brows furrowing, mouth twisting, and then he licked his lips and shook his head. "Noctis, if this-huh."

His eyes jumped to look at something past Noct. He turned to see what it was, cursing his luck mentally, then tilted his head to the side. Prompto had emerged from the building, a bag slung over his arm, a shell-shocked expression on his face.

"This was a terrible idea and I regret everything." Were the words out of his mouth as soon as he was close enough for them to hear him. He wrenched open the door and slid into the backseat them immediately slid low in the seat. "I hate you."

"That seems dramatic." Ignis said mildly. "Not that I've never thought similar."

"Rude."

"Truthful. You can be…oh my." Ignis blinked then let out a choked snort. "I see. Gladiolus?"

"Ignis." Gladio greeted as he, rather unceremoniously, leaned into the car via Noct's window. Noctis didn't yelp or jump in surprise but he did draw back, mouth opening in surprise. "Princess. Why aren't you in back with your *date*?"

"Where is your shirt?" Ignis asked, saving Noctis and his temporarily fried brain cells.

"It's hot enough to fry an egg on the sidewalk. The real question is how the hell are you wearing pants?" Gladio said simply, as if walking around in nothing but sunglasses and swim shorts with his skin gleaming like he's rubbed an entire bottle of oil on himself wasn't at all noteworthy.

Noctis has seen Gladio shirtless before while they were sparring but somehow this Gladio, casual and grinning as he looked down at Noctis over his sunglasses, hair pulled back into a messy ponytail, was a completely different beast. As hot as it was outside Noctis was sure the car had become a good five degrees hotter the moment Gladio leaned in.

"My sense of shame keeps me cool." Ignis said tonelessly.

"Pop the trunk so I can toss this stuff in." With that Gladio pulled back and ambled around to the back of the car.

Prompto moaned helplessly, sliding down further in his seat. Ignis nodded sympathetically. "Indeed."

~X~X~

This was the beginning of something so awesome I don't think I could have ignored it if I wanted to. HOLY HELL OT4 fertile ground! I'll be writing from here on out unless Achrya wants to pick it back up again.


	2. Chapter 2

*This story is meant to be a bit more lighthearted than my other stories. Please don't take it seriously :) Thanks to Rsasai for some tips with this chapter.

Ignis tried his best to concentrate on driving on their way to the waterpark. He really did. However, the scene in the back seat was rather distracting. Not only was Ignis mildly concerned about what Gladio's body oil might be doing to the leather seats, but Prompto looked like he might pass out at any moment from sheer anxiety. In the rearview mirror Ignis watched as Gladio made small talk and Prompto kept fumbling over his words.

The windows were open, so Gladio kept having to lean in closer to Prompto to hear him over the sound of the passing traffic outside. "What's the name of this water park again?"

"T-Tsunami," Prompto stuttered. Ignis had never seen the blonde so nervous before. Then again, he'd never seen Prompto on a date before. He and Noctis had just gone from friends to a couple gradually over time. There was no actual 'dating' involved. Ignis imagined that the poor boy had no clue what he was doing. Next to a *ehem* seasoned person such as Gladio, it must be intimidating.

Ignis looked over to Noctis, half dozing in the passenger seat.

Speaking of nervous…

When the prince implied finding a second boyfriend for himself and looked meaningfully at his advisor Ignis was -for once- at a loss for words. Ignis had to have read the situation wrong… or perhaps he was dreaming. He had known Noctis since he was six, and somewhere along the line, roughly when he was twenty, Ignis had begun developing feelings for his ward.

It was inappropriate. Beyond inappropriate for a royal advisor to have harbor some of the thoughts and emotions that visited him in the wee hours of the night. Which was why he'd never acted on them. It was almost a relief when Noctis began dating Prompto, taking away even the option that Ignis and Noct could be more.

Part of Ignis was envious…okay a big part, but he was relieved too. Things were easier that way. So long as His Highness was happy, that was all that mattered. Temptation gone Ignis had redirected his energy back into work.

Ignis looked to his right before taking the exit and for a moment green eyes locked with deep blue. Noctis winked at him.

The temptation was back. With a vengeance.

The wheels hit the grooved edge of the road before Ignis managed to pull it back into the lane. "Whoa, Ignis," called Gladio from the back seat. "You alright?"

Ignis gripped the wheel tightly as he kept his eyes forward. "Yes, I'm fine. Apologies." He cleared his voice. "We'll be arriving momentarily."

Noctis stifled a laugh.

Ignis took a deep breath and tried to unclench his shoulders. If this was what Noctis wanted, he would go along with it, but cautiously. The level of scandal this could awaken was not something Ignis was willing to deal with, nor having to explain it to the king.

Another bead of sweat rolled down the side of Prompto's face. It was hot out, but having his crush crammed into the back of Noct's car alongside him, mostly naked and oiled up like he was ready for a photo shoot made it ten times hotter. Gladio kept leaning over to talk to him, which would be fine if Prompto wasn't sporting a chub the entire drive.

This was ridiculous. This was a terrible idea. He was in way over his head. He was going to make an ass of himself and Gladio was going to laugh at him. Abort, abort, abort.

When Ignis slowed to take the off ramp Prompto briefly wondered if he could survive jumping out of the car at this speed. Maybe if he tucked and rolled…

Something cold touched Prompto's bare shoulder. He turned to see Gladio holding out a chilled bottle of water from his cooler bag. "You'd better hydrate. It's gonna be a hot one today."

Prompto took the water. "Thanks," he said before taking a large sip, letting out a sigh as the icy water cooled him from the inside out. Gladio smiled at him before taking a swig of his own water and returning his gaze to the road.

Taking a deep, slow breath, Prompto felt his anxiety melt away. Noctis trusted Gladio. Trusted him enough to be willing to share Prompto with him. He wouldn't have set this whole thing up if he thought Gladio would be an ass.

The car rolled to a stop and Prompto got out, the late morning heat already coming off the blacktop like a furnace. A loud roar of water diverted Prompto's attention to the park in front of them and all the remaining anxiety in his freckled body was replaced with childlike excitement. A geyser of water shot a hundred feet into the air forming a rainbow when the sun hit it. Beyond it were multicolored slides and tubes that rose up so high Prompto had to crane his neck to see them all. Over the roar of the water he could hear the laughs and screams of the patrons who'd arrived before them.

"Prom! You coming or what?" Noctis called toward the main entrance.

"Oh…Yeah!" He ran to catch up.

The place was packed. Not surprising considering how hot it was out. "What's first on the itinerary?" Ignis asked after they'd stowed their extra items in the lockers.

Noctis and Prompto looked around while Gladio laughed at the strategist. "Iggy, we're at an amusement park. There is no itinerary."

Prompto caught sight of a splash park next to the food court. It had giant water guns, containers full of water balloons, and an oversized bucket that periodically dumped about five thousand gallons of water on the patrons below. The best part was, there was no line. "How about the splash park to start?" Prompto offered.

Noctis smiled. "Race you there," he said before taking off across the food court.

Prompto sprinted to catch up, his sandals slowing him down substantially. "No fair, you got a head start!"

Ignis yelled something behind them about not running on pavement, but they'd already gotten there before the advice could be used. Noctis made a b-line for one of the water guns while Prompto grabbed two balloons, heaving one at his boyfriend and triumphantly getting him square in the back of the head. Noct laughed back at him before swiveling the turret on its pedestal and firing a stream of water directly at him. Prompto managed to dodge most of it, but he still got hit with enough to soak his head. Hair style ruined, Prompto loaded his arms up with balloons before taking cover behind a low wall provided for just such a purpose.

They volleyed back and forth for a few moments before a water balloon struck Prompto in the back. He turned and found Gladio smiling at him, already winding up for another throw.

The four of them alternated between balloons and water guns until Ignis got a hold of an oversized hose and doused the lot of them. Shaking the water out of their hair the three of them teamed up, grabbing as many water balloons as they could carry and took off after Ignis. Their efforts were valiant, but the strategist was fast. He managed to dodge most of the balloons before stopping suddenly. Gladio approached from the front while Noctis and Prompto flanked him.

"You're in for it now," the prince said deviously as he closed the distance.

Gladio had an extra-large balloon held aloft while Prompto was holding a small bucket filled to the brim with water. "No way out, Specks," the shield threatened, lifting the balloon for the final blow.

Prompto's hands gripped tighter on the bucket. "Caught you."

Ignis only smirked, stopping everyone in their tracks. "Oh, no," he mocked, "Whatever will I do?"

There was a splash of water from above and the creek of a hinge. The three of them looked up to see the massive bucket tip and dump a deluge of water onto all four of them. The force of it knocked Prompto right off his feet and onto the padded ground below. Before he managed to get back up Ignis was laughing. Actually _laughing_. Prompto wasn't sure he'd ever heard the advisor make such a noise before.

He looked up as Gladio laughed too and pointed at Noct who, at the moment, looked like a drowned cat. The laughter was infectious, and soon they were all cackling like idiots hard enough for their sides to hurt.

Ignis pushed his soggy bangs out of his eyes and looked over his shoulder to his prince. "You were right Noct," he laughed again. "It seems I am still capable of having 'fun'."


End file.
